Thursday, Jan. 17, 2008 at 7:36 p.m.

;beckyc.

Wednesday, Jan. 02, 2008 at 12:28 a.m.

;beckyc.

Thursday, Dec. 27, 2007 at 7:32 p.m.

haha!

alright, it's really none of my business anyway.

;beckyc.

Thursday, Dec. 27, 2007 at 7:56 a.m.

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it okay
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
They lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were
Yeah, yeah

And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me
Yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you

the best thing abt this is that i don't even like you that way, yet it fits right in. and you're never even gonna who this is abt.

;beckyc.

Saturday, Dec. 22, 2007 at 6:35 p.m.

if you don't believe in magic, you've obviously never been to disneyland, or disney sea, or disney world, or anything disney. i've seen, maybe not miracles, but definitely gorgeous unbelievable things happen in disneyland. (:

and i'm still in love with disneyland! i so want my marriage there. tell you what, i shall buy 3 day passports to disneyland for everyone i'm inviting to my wedding. i think i'll choose Disneyland Park in California. The one with Disney California adventure right beside it as well (: yay.

i'll put the pics up when i get back.

i got shopping done today. just a little. not alot. mostly stationary. i remember ukc commenting on the last night of mission trip when we went to the night bazaar that i'm really a notebooks person. haha i guess so. well done becky. he also declared me a shopahlic. lol well done.

anyway! last day in tokyo tomorrow!omg you know. i really have to thank God. i think He taught me patience this trip. it's very VERY difficult to talk to my family sometimes. we're all so different people, yet so similiar at some moments too. i can absolutley hate my family but part of me still loves them to bits. i guess God taught me how to really take things as they come, and not keep wishing for something better you know? appreciate the NOW. (:

tomorrow going to Harajuku (did i spell that right) area, apparently dad says that huge groups of teenagers will come together and dress up, something like COSplay but like cooler? haha i dunno. and there should be an anime shop in that area. FINALLY! kahjun! jazmon! i'm finally going to be able to get you your one piece stuff and bleach stuffs. lol! so exciting. i'm such a weird person.

ps: jazmon hope you managed to finish your christmas shopping.

oh! to everyone who messaged me while i've been in tokyo. sorry for not replying! my phone kinda screwed up and i can't send out sms-es, i can only recieve. pray for my phone! i hope it'll work back in spore!

lols. i still haven't had sushi yet btw. (hears the outraged, utter shocked WHAT in the background)

can't wait for tmr. I'M COMING HOME!

i'm so not going to leave singapore next year during this season. so not so not. maybe all the to be poly people and uni people should arrange a group holiday to like bintan in feb. it'll be cheaper (:

alrighty! can't wait to come home! haha you can fetch me from the airport at 1 am if you feel like it. lols.

and NO it's not budget terminal (: (:

love love!

;beckyc.

Thursday, Dec. 20, 2007 at 11:08 p.m.

and honestly, i've been feeling a whole multitude of emotions towards it, but mostly, it's stress.

I've been stressed about how little christmas shopping i could get done, what with the mission trip, as well as me being forcefully brought to Tokyo on some 'family' holiday that will take me away from home from the 19th to the 24th. i was, and still quite upset that i'd be missing so much of this season. where since i was young enough to have an opinion that it should be spent at home, with family AND friends.

the stress added up especially when i found out that i had to do a mission report asap, as well as plan alot of other things before the end of the year. which is technically like 10+ days away.

and to top it off, today, my phone died. and i have no other access to my home except through this internet which is proving to not be as reliable as i've always thought it to be.

i also felt extremely dissapointed. because i had to reject 3 christmas parties, 2 class outings, 1 request to help out for a sunday skit, 1 request to join carolling, and countless requests to go out and shop/have fun with friends. why? because i'm not in singapore. doing what?

so far. i've spent the past 2 days in tokyo doing nothing but taking a stupid train all over the place to fetch people. and eat ramen meals.

so. no phone. no 'outstanding/amazing/awesome' experience that everyone who's been to japan, and even those who haven't has been promising me. no friends. no parties. no TIME to finish planning for christmas things like gifts and cards and things.

of course i'm upset.

at this time of the night, (which is usually not very late, but quite late considering my ave. hours of sleep the past 2 weeks have been less than 4hrs, and i have to be up at 6 tomorrow) i went to go check my email.

i read a devotion from Proverbs31 ministry that i subscribe to. it was entitled, "a little peace of christmas". when i read that, i was reminded of how much stress i've decided to give myself. all these things are super important to me. but how i totally failed to remember one thing. of all these important things, one remains the most important; God.

how quickly i forget Him when i get stressed. how quickly i forget how i am a living testimony for Him, not just to the world, but to my very own family. where both my parents have stopped attending church since i was primary 2.

i asked myself after reading that devotion, how much have i glorified God, or put Him first in the last 2 days? Ok so i did my QT. but i was grouchy the whole of today. i was in a totally foul mood, and part of me still is. how could God be glorified like that?

i'm just reminded i guess that this season, it's not about the gifts, it's not about the parties, it's not about being places, it's about Him. and so i may be missing time with friends, but God, He's everywhere. so why can't i spend time with Him in japan as well?

part of me can't let go of presents i still haven't gotten for people, of all the things i'm missing at home, of alot of things i'm not done with or have not done yet. but tonight, i'm just reminded that i need not worry.

i am reminded of Matthew 6:34, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." live each day as it is. God knows what's gonna happen to me tomorrow. so why worry about it when i should instead be spending today glorifying God, and making the best out of the situation.

honestly, i'm still upset, and i'm still very stressed. but tonight, i commit all the things i'm stressed and upset about to Him. i'm aware of them, and i'm gonna work on them. but not on my lonesome anymore, but rather with God all the way. it's kinda encouraging to look at it that way right? after all, as romans 8:31 goes, "If God is for us, who can be against us?"

so yea. pray for me please. i've got a cold, and a slight rash outbreak, i'm exhausted and upset. pray that i will not forget God this time in Japan. and pray that i will continue to remember that i am a testimony for Him.

thank You Lord, for this timely reminder. help me.
amen.

;beckyc.

Tuesday, Dec. 18, 2007 at 7:16 p.m.

yep. i'm back.

leaving tomorrow. actually i'm not sure. you know why? my mum forgot to leave me the tickets. i think.

oh wells.

anyway! the mission trip was... wow.

indescribable.

yea. too much to write here tonight.

thank you 3 for this afternoon.
i missed you 3.

thanks for everything
love.
i owe youu so much.

i'll write a longer one some day. but not tonight.

;beckyc.

Wednesday, Dec. 05, 2007 at 1:47 p.m.

mans. overnighter is over (:

it went well la i guess. right now i'm kinda not thinking about anything other than the fact that is over. (:

i'm like braindead, and i'm kinda hurting physically. so yea.

lols.

thanks all you guys. the comm. we did it. thanks grp 2. so proud of you! CHEESE! thanks everyone who was there la. and i'm sorry for being so distant from quite a few people also. i don't know la, my brain's like not working recently. thanks you guys. (:

haha i took so many pictures. i think i'm gonna get killed by like all the unglam shots i took. lols!

anyway! i'm beyond busy now. and you know the term when it rain it pours? how weird.

and i feel sad for people. as in, some pple i know and love. i don't know what's happening. i'm just like... i dunno la. rar!

i don't know what i'm going to do with my life. i missed the dateline for application to US unis. and i still need to sign up for driving lessons by this year.

ARGH!

haha i'm such a whiny kid.

oh wells.

i want to talk to you. i don't know if i'm being paranoid, or i'm just worrying abt things that hasn't happened, or won't even happen. but i don't know. i'm scared for us. oh mans. i hope i'm just being paranoid.

such a stupid thing to worry about.

but yea. i'm gonna have to keep reminding myself of the committment i made at camp.

thanks ya'll.

loves

;beckyc.